Invader Zim: The Armada is Coming
by seusswizard
Summary: Zim has ingenious plans to mechanically upgrade Gir and himself to finally begin Earth's final conquest, attracting the attention of the Almighty Tallest and their Irken Armada during a local visit for donuts. Worthy opponents Dib, Gaz and Tak, with the help of Prof. Membrane, team up to defeat the green tyrant with their own suits of armor, and clear Gir's evil new programming.
1. Chapter 1: Time for a Change

**Chapter One****: Time for a Change**

Somewhere out in the dark, silent vacuum of space, not too far from planet Irk, the Irken Armada stood proudly in place. The little Irkens didn't do much aboard their assigned crafts; neither did their leaders, the Almighty Tallest. They receive calls from their Irken Invaders every so often, to whom they send off on their merry way, to continue to conquer their designated planet. In the meantime, The Tallest eat. Specifically snacks. They received mass shipments from the planet Foodcourtia's vending machine distributors, and with money that was supposed to be funded towards the Invaders missions.

The Tallest were sitting comfortably in their brand new, squeaky hover chairs aboard The Massive, the largest flagship in the Irken Armada. They were alone on the control bridge, besides the few Navigators and Communication Officers nearby at their control desks. But they don't say or do much, really. They had a large box of donuts from Krusty Kreme Donuts on the little round table between their chairs. Tallest Red's mouth was stuffed with donuts. He kept trying to speak, but stopped until after he swallowed. "Ya know what I like?" He asked, picking up another donut. Tallest Purple took a moment to think to himself. "Donuts?" he asked.

Red smiled and closed his eyes, leaning as far back in his chair as possible. "Yeah, donuts". There was a long pause as they both reflected on donuts. All kinds of them: jelly-filled, sprinkled, glazed, crullers, fritters, éclairs… all of them danced and sang in front of their eyes, singing an adorable song about diabetes. Some donuts were in love with each other and wanted to make little baby donuts, which the Tallest thought was pretty cool. Purple snapped out of their shared trance. "We're gonna need more donuts. That bewildering trance wasn't remotely trippy enough..." He grabbed the box. "There's only like, 12 left in here."

"Good thinking!" Red shouted. "See, this is why we're such good leaders, we know how to get things done… I knew it right when we went from being the tallest students in college, to being THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST of the Irken Empire. I knew we would do great things together. I just knew." Purple was thoroughly humbled by this. "We're like two dogs who only want to smell each others hairy little bottoms and no one else's, who send their scrawny little puppies out to find new places for us to sniff. Dogs who enjoy the finer things, like donuts, among others. But mostly donuts."

A mechanical warble sounded as Communications Officer Veend reported "My Tallest, incoming transmission from Captain Panch aboard The Puny." The Tallest giggled at this title. The Puny was the smallest vessel in the Armada, but Panch was still a good Captain, and was still nearly as tall as them, which bothered The Tallest quite a bit. "Well, put him through, oh communicating one" sang Tallest Purple, stuffing another donut in his mouth and twirling around a bit on his hover chair.

The image of Captain Panch scribbled onto their giant screen. He was fatter and darker than they remembered. "Ah! My Tallest." He croaked, for he had a bit of a frog-like voice, since he was a heavy smoker. Apart from being the captain of an official vessel of the Irken Armada, he was also responsible for maintaining The Tallest's supply of Krusty Kreme Donuts. "I'm afraid I have some disturbing news…"

"Ha! We don't pay you for _disturbing news_, Captain. We pay you for donuts. So unless this _news_ is about donuts, we don't want to hear it".

Panch attempted to clear his throat. He's never able to, though. "But My Tallest, this news _is_ about donuts."

"Oh! Then by all means, go right ahead, why didn't you say so? Stupid!" said Red.

"Yeah, stupid!" continued Purple "What about donuts, hmmm? We always wanna hear about donuts! When haven't we wanted you to tell us about the donuts, huh?"

"Yes, the donuts. Well… ya see, sometimes certain companies don't do well financially…" He began.

"Uh-huh" Red said, barely paying much attention.

"And it's not always their fault, you know. Things happen." He continued.

"Okay" Purple said holding up a rainbow sprinkled donut to his face and watching it twirl around and between his fingers. "Then what happened?"

Captain Panch sighed heavily. "Krusty Kreme Donuts… they, uh... they don't exist anymore." Panch said as gently as he could. There was a dead silence on the control bridge. Even the Navigation and Communication Officers couldn't help but watch The Tallest in silence to see how they reacted. The Tallest's attention shot away from their snacks in a heartbeat as they stared at the large screen, wide-eyed, mouths agape, jelly and powdered sugar all over their mouths. Panch continued, "What you have there is all there is left. They've been bought out by…" He made a twisted, disgusted face "…_grocery stores_."

Everyone on the bridge made a noise of disgust and agony. "GROCERY STORES!? Who wants groceries?" Red screamed in a panic. "Everyone knows that everyone just wants donuts! It's a fact of the galaxy! The universe, even! They wrote it on like, ancient scrolls… or stone tablets or something, right? Part of the 10 food commandments? Thou shall only want donuts, now and forever!?"

"Officer Veend! Officer Klab! Red Alert! The Irken Armada is hereby in its most desperate hour! We're DONUT-LESS" Purple shouted, about ready to faint. "Operation Impending Doom II may crumble before our very eyes due to this tragedy! Notify the -"

"There IS one left though, My Tallest." Panch interrupted the chaotic jabbering.

The Tallest sprang forward onto the handrail in front of them. "WHERE, Panch? Wheeeeerrrrre?" They hissed in unison and glared at him, nearly losing their minds. Their hisses echoed across the control bridge until there was complete silence once again.

Panch looked at his paper closely, straightened it, adjusted his glasses and attempted to clear his throat one more time. "Earth" he said lightly. The Tallest slowly turned their heads towards each other till their faces were inches apart. Their eyes practically staring into each other's souls as they eerily repeated together once more "_Earth…"_

* * *

Back on Earth, a small planet in the Milky Way galaxy, relatively unknown to the Irken race up until recent events, a little car came speeding around a suburban street corner and stopped in front of Zim's house, leaving dark skid marks on the road and sidewalks. Gir stepped out. An excess of cups and candy wrappers came spilling out with him, almost toppling him over. Gir waved goodbye as the car went zigzagging down the street, knocking over numerous trashcans and breaking several fire hydrants. Inside, Zim's robot parents stood leaning against the wall, now completely dysfunctional, failing to respond to any forms of command or treatment. An old, greasy pizza and tub of melted ice cream lay smeared across the floor in one corner, and the green monkey painting on the wall watching everything as creepily as ever.

Zim found himself sitting frozen on his living room sofa, awkwardly slouched and intensely staring forward at the flashing static on the television screen, his pointy fingers almost piercing through the cushion fabric. The pink reflections in his deep red eyes danced and shimmered with the sporadic light. Gir swung the door open and came staggering in, paying no attention to his dog costume that had started to drop almost to his feet and was dragging behind him, ever since getting out of his friends car. He noticed Zim staring off into space and came wobbling over to him.

"Master?" Gir said softly, tilting his head, trying to make eye contact with him. "Maaaaaaster! Masterrrrrrr! Masssssssss…durrrrrr! MASTER!?" he called in several different manners of tone. Zim said nothing, without even a budge or a single blink. Gir smiled and giggled and kicked his dog costume to the wall, leaped onto Zim's lap, snuggled up to him, and put one arm around his shoulder. "Master, I have so much to tell youuuu! My friend the good hippo invited me to a party!" This was all muffled banter to Zim at the moment.

"We daaaaanced, and we saaaaaang, and we drank AAAALL kinds of Suck Munkeys!" Gir continued. Zim continued to stare in thought. _Something needs to change._ _We've wasted so much time… _

"We had... pizza Suck Munkey, we had... nacho cheese Suck Munkey, and – and – and…" The muffled noise was now pressing firmly against his ear holes. _The Dib human haunts me. Every second of the day it's Dib on my mind... Dib! Dib!... SICK LITTLE EARTH WORM, DIB!" _

"And – aaaaaaand, banana hotdog bubble gum Suck Munkeyyyy."

"SILENCE!" Zim exploded as he shoved Gir off his lap and onto the floor. He was near hyperventilating, his right eye twitching like never before. "Gir! Attention!" he commanded.

Gir's eyes turned red and angry. "Yes, Sir!". Zim waited a few moments, knowing his focus wont last. After a few short moments, Gir's eyes faded back to green again and he fell backwards onto the carpet, smiling upwards. "I'm gonna make friends with the ceiling face, then we can try more Suck Munkey!"

Zim watched him with the upmost annoyance. "How you can possibly enjoy these...filthy... human's pathetic excuses for oral sustenance, I can't understand, Gir." He grabbed Gir and forced him back on his feet, looking him up and down. "Besides, you're a robot! You don't have taste buds! All these different sticky icky Suck Munkey nasties can't possibly taste any different to you! You need - "

"TRY THE TAPIOCA BEEF SUCK MUNKEY" Gir screamed as he pulled a drink out of nowhere and shoved its fat straw in Zim's mouth and squeezed. Zim immediately spat the beef drink all over the living room, as well as from the cup, as Gir continued to squeeze while laughing and rolling on the floor. Blotches and streams of the thick liquids nearly covered the room. "Hey, ceiling face, do you like the beef!? DO YOU LIKE THE BEEF, CEILING FACE!? DO YA!?" The ceiling face was nowhere to be seen.

Zim quickly wiped the sticky liquid from his face and marched towards Gir, grabbing him and dragged him towards the toilet as he continued to laugh and inquire the face about its thoughts about the beef. Zim got into the toilet with Gir and flushed. They spiraled down into his lab, where he threw Gir in a glass chamber and locked it. Gir flitted around and against the glass, giggling about something inaudible. "Why do I even keep you around!?" Zim asked, glancing very closely at him "You're not helping me with the mission! We're here to conquer Earth! Stop making stupid little animal friends that I'm not always sure even exist, and ENOUGH WITH THE SUCK MUNKEYS and leaving half-eaten pizzas all over the house!"

"But I like Suck Munkey!" Gir squealed.

"It's time for a change, Gir... You're getting way too comfortable here!"

"I like pillows" Gir said in all seriousness.

"It's time to use my superior intellect to finally give us the upgrade we need to help conquer these… HUMAN STINKMEATS… on their big ball of Earth goo!" Zim announced. He switched on every computer in the room. Beeping and buzzing filled the lab and slowly rose in volume. He sat down and opened a design program on his main computer. He began drawing out a suit of armor, until suddenly an incoming video notification icon popped up. It was the Tallest. He watched the little vibrating icon for several moments before he fully processed it. "The Tallest are calling… ME!?" Overwhelmed with joy, he answered as their image popped up, sitting awkwardly upright and nervous.

"Hello… Zim." Red greeted him stiffly.

"My Tallest, what an unexpected pleasure this is!" Zim said, not quite sure what else to say. "I – I don't have anything to report since last time, though I, uh…"

"No, no worries, little one!" assured Purple "It isn't required of you at this time." He said with a strange hand gesture.

"Oh, good" Zim said with an exhale. He waited for them to speak, but decided to break the silence. "What do I owe the honor, then?"

Red and Purple looked at each other questionably. "Um… We just want to know… how you're doing." Purple said, unsure about where exactly the conversation was going.

"How _I'm_ doing?" Zim asked, confused.

"Yes!" Red shouted. "How was your day?" he asked calmly.

They have never spoken to him in this way. Never having expressed even a slight bit of interest in his personal wellbeing. "Alright, I guess." He looked over at Gir, who was drawing little hippos on the glass with a lime green permanent marker.

"Good, good. Uhhhhh… listen, we have some pressing, super top secret business with an Irken ambassador located on Earth disguised as a Manager at Krusty Kreme Donuts" Red began, sounding rehearsed. Purple lightly nodding at him in agreement, and motioned him to continue. "So, yeah… we're gonna need the coordinates. We don't have access to your… Earthy… info… thingies."

"I LIKE DONUTS" Gir screamed as loud as he could from his cage behind Zim. He started drawing little donuts all over the hippos faces. "Hippo likes donuts!"

"Krusty Kreme Donuts? You mean inside that old dumpy building downtown?" Zim questioned, ignoring Gir. "With the dead hobo lying by the front door and his dogs slowly eating him and no one's done anything about it?"

"Probably…" Red confirmed "Probably that one."

"Yeah, I can send you Earth's coordinates, as well as Krusty Kreme's. That's totally something I can do for you, My Tallest. It'd be an honor"

"Great!" Purple shouted. "It's totally something he can do! An honor, even! Ya see that?"

"That is… that's great, Zim." Red said with a fake smile.

"In the meantime, though, I have BRAND new plans for Earth's final conquest. It WILL NOT fail this time! See I'm developing advanced technolo– "

"Uh-huh, well this pressing business of ours is WAYYY more pressing than we initially stated," Purple said "So uh, good luck and all that, and other things. Warm wishes"

"Wait! Wait! While you're on Earth, you should check out my conquest. It'll take you at least a week to get here in The Massive. My conquest should be ready to go by then."

"Uh-huh."

"It's gonna be neat." Zim assured.

"Sounds good." Red grumbled.

"…and the Irken Armada?" Zim asked, hopeful.

"Sure, whatever." Red shouted, reaching around Purple for the controls. "We're leaving now, bye!"

The connection was cut and Zim couldn't believe what he just heard. _The Armada. The Irken Empire's soul means of planetary conquest. The final attack. The fatal sweep of all life. Especially…DIB. They're coming to aid in his mission to conquer Earth! The mission is finally beginning to progress. _"Gir! Put that marker down! You need to be plugged in, and you need to FOCUS. You and I have a long week ahead of us! THE ARMADA IS COMING!"

* * *

Aboard The Massive, the connection had just been cut. Purple looked over at Red in deep thought. "Wait, so did we just agree to meet up with Zim?"

Red looked at him questionably. "What? No… we got donut coordinates."

"But didn't we -"

"Nope" Red said, licking the inside of the donut box.

"And didn't he -"

"Nuh-uh" he was now checking the bottom of the box for crumbs.

Purple came to his senses once more. "You're right, silly me." He sat down in his hover chair and leaned back in relaxation. The Navigators received Zim's coordinates and they were finally on their way to Earth. "Ha! Zim..."

Red laughed in agreement, throwing away the donut box and sat down next to Purple. "Yeah… Zim."

_To Be Continued…_


	2. Chapter 2: Tak, the Irken Cyborg

**Chapter Two: Tak, the Irken Cyborg**

Larik Fengeous was a colossal, galactic criminal and refugee, bent on destructive evil and revenge. Tak had taken up bounty hunting, and was seeking to capture him for a huge reward of 10,000 Irken credits from the Empire's police force. Fengeous had given the Empire numerous threats in the past and present, and the Irken politicians are, quite frankly, sick and tired of it, but mostly resistant to admit that they're afraid for their lives. Tak had found him on the storage planet Duski, with a ragtag group of thieves and bandits that Fengeous planned on forming a crew with. Tak crept along a rock wall, getting a good glance of the band of criminals. Her Sir unit MiMi was standing alert behind her. Tak had acquired an instant teleportation device a few weeks prior. Holding it in her hand, waiting for the right time to use it.

Fengeous and his crew were loading a ship full of stolen weapons. "Hurry up with those, Zeebid! I haven't got till this planets sundown!" he screamed, tossing various weapons on the huge spacecraft. When, the craft was fully loaded, they were about ready to board and leave before the locals discovered them. Just then, Tak appeared behind them. "I hope you're not certain you'd be getting away with this, Fengeous!" she said, more than ready for combat.

Fengeous turned his entire body around, since his neck was so thick and muscular, it could barely turn his head. The Irken before him was about as big as his hand. "I AM certain, little one," he said without another word, turning away from her. She pulled out a small laser blaster. She shot him in the back. He howled and stumbled for a moment, jerking around to face her again. "Little one, you don't want to get into this with me," said Larik. "I'm guessing you're going after the bounty."

"You guessed right!" she kept the gun pointed straight at him.

"I suggest you put that away and scurry off," he was about to turn away again, when she shot him again in the chest. Larik's skin was thick and tough and took a lot more than a laser blaster to fatally harm him. He returned the assault with another shriek and stared her down. "Tiny green girl, I don't want to hurt you. It's 10 against 1. You haven't got a chance!"

Tak noticed the blaster wasn't going to work. She pulled out her knife and chucked it at him, stabbing him deep in his neck. He roared and immediately darted at her. Before she even had a chance to react, he had his hand on her throat and lifted her up near his face. "Don't try me, green one!" he shouted, as her mechanical spider legs sprawled out of her PAK, jabbing him in several places, and pushed off him. Lark grabbed one of the legs and pulled her back, punching her square on the jaw. She was sent flying, face first in the scorching hot dirt.

Larik assumed she was down for good, and turned back to his work, several members of his team chuckling along with him. Tak sat up, her spider legs lifting her up again, taking two more knives out of her sheaths, and sent them flying at him, this time one in the shoulder, and the other in his lower back. In a flash, he growled and pulled out a large gun from his pocket. Bullets came flying at her. She impressively managed to avoid many for about 15 seconds, until one hit her on the arm. MiMi appeared out of nowhere with its jet legs, shooting Larik in the stomach and cheek with its equipped defense firearms. Larik tried grabbing MiMi while it flew around him, but he couldn't manage. Tak came running up with her spider legs, and the blaster in her hand once again. Larik was being shot at left and right. Finally, a few crewmembers started shooting at Tak and MiMi. Tak's gun was able to stun them much more effectively since they're skin wasn't freakishly thick as Lariks. MiMi on the other hand, was unfortunately shot and sent to the dusty ground.

The noise Larik made this time was indescribable. He managed to grab her head, and slammed her into the dirt twice as hard as before. And kicked her in the ribs several times. Blood flowed from her face, arms and legs. He picked them up and threw them to a nearby crewmember. "Take her and her tin can to her ship and send it to the last planet visited," he said, limping away towards the front of the ship. "Use the radar. It's most likely somewhere in the desert." He was somewhat injured, but has survived through extreme injuries before. Two crewmembers came across her ship far away and violently threw them both in there. Typing at the computer for a few moments, Earth's coordinates appearing on the screen, and shut the door. The ship flew off in a hurry and disappeared into the atmosphere.

Much later, her ship was ablaze, and came spiraling down into Earth's atmosphere. Smoke trailed across the sky for miles. She was unconscious and flailing about the cockpit. She was wounded, and blood covered the inside of the cockpit window. The ship came twisting down towards the street below and slammed into the pavement, bouncing up and down for quite some time. Passerby's were watching in fear and concern as it began rolling and eventually stopped on a grass lawn in front of a house, still on fire, and billowed in smoke and electric surges. Only a few moments later, a man in a white robe stepped out of the house in front of it, and onto the lawn, and put the fire out with a fire extinguisher.

Tak awoke much later. She was cold, confused, disoriented and in excruciating pain. She couldn't seem to see very well, though the room was a bit dim. She seemed to be lying on a slanted surgical bed. She could faintly hear the voice of a man speaking about aliens and cyborg technology; a few other voices would share their input here and there. Once Tak's vision was adjusted, she was able to see that she was in a laboratory, and the man she heard was sitting near her, wearing a long white scientist's robe, goggles, and the collar of his robe went up to the bridge of his nose. He was speaking to several other men and women through webcam. There were nearly 20 of them scattered across his computer screen.

"But Professor Membrane, suppose this alien turns against you? Putting your family in danger? There are many risks here. You know nothing about her species." Said one of the men on the screen. Tak just noticed that there was a camera focused on her and that her image was viewable to the Professor and his colleagues.

"Not to worry, Dr. Ballmat. My advanced equipment can contain any form of life, no matter how quick and powerful. If I detect even the slightest defiance in her, she'll be easily restrained." The Professor assured.

"You can't keep her a secret for long, you know? You'll need to go public to the council eventually. This is too huge a discovery. If they find out, they'll accuse you of treason… treachery!" a woman on the other side of the screen explained.

"After a series of tests, Dr. Wheatpit, I'll decide when the right time is to go public. I want to know everything I can before the announcement," he said as he looked over at Tak, noticing that she was awake. "I must go! We'll speak later." He cut the connection and walked over to tak. He de-dimmed the lighting, and adjusted his goggles. "Greetings, friend! Can you understand me?" he asked carefully. Tak nodded slowly. "Excellent! My name is Prof. Membrane." He shouted. He was rather loud and eccentric. "Your little ship crash-landed in my front yard. You were severely dismembered and I saved your life. Take a look… if you wish."

The professor took out a small mirror, but big enough for her to see her whole body. As the light in the room was turned up just a bit more, she was able to see her nude body, several of her body parts and appendages were now robotic, including her whole left leg, right arm, some fingers on her left hand, and most horrifyingly, half of her face. She looked down at herself and couldn't believe what was happening. She was speechless, for the first time since she can remember. Her remaining eye couldn't help but tear up. The Professor noticed her horror. "I understand this is a huge shock to you, but I can assure you that what I've done to you saved not only your life, but will mentally and physically improve it." He explained. "Go ahead and stand up. Try it out."

He stepped back to allow her room to step down. There were several mechanical arms above and beside her to restrain her if needed. She leapt onto the ground without hesitation. She felt more balanced than ever before, and her eyesight had become exceptionally crisp, her improved sense of smell and hearing threw her off the most, though the pain in her joints and her head was almost unbearable.

"Come with me! I have something else to show you." The professor commanded. She went with him slowly and uncertain. She wasn't sure what to say, or even think. Prof. Membrane took her into a huge holding area, where in one corner held a huge, 8-ft tall robot suit. It seemed to be colored to match her clothing. It was all violet purple, with sky blue joints and solid black trimmings and outlines. "Why would you build this for me?" she asked. The Professor chuckled a bit. "Easy there, little tiger! It'll be for you to use when the time comes! It's advanced technology I invented that allows only you to access and operate its controls. Its flight system is flawless, potentially able to run 100 miles per hour, and fly up to 200 miles per hour."

"But why me?" she asked, still confused.

"Because I've developed suits for humans several times. An alien like you was a new and exciting way to learn so much more about the technology I've invented, as well as broaden the vast horizon of its possibilities!" his words were inspirational to Tak, beginning to understand the Professors motives. "Hop on in and test it out!" she was way ahead of him, climbing into the cockpit immediately when the Professor opened the door that opened upward. The controls she touched tingled. Tak supposed it was reading her genetic signature. The Professor strapped Tak into a type of suspension system. Sensors automatically connected to her hand, arms, feet, legs and head. Whatever movements she made, the suit made along with her in synchronization. She ran forward, tested a few kicks and punches, fired up the thrusters and did a few flips in the air. She loved it and could only imagine using it against Larik Fengeous. She'd be unstoppable.

Elsewhere, the Professor's front door crept open, as Tak's Sir unit, MiMi, sneaked in along the wall, looking sharply around the first corner. It was slightly damaged, glitching here and there. There was no one else in the room. It switched over to its black cat disguise, and sensed two beings in the living room. In a flash, MiMi zipped behind the sofa. Prof. Membrane's son Dib was watching 'Mysterious Mysteries' on the television, and his focused sister Gaz was playing a game on her Game Slave 6, the latest, highly advanced model.

The eerie intro and theme music played and the host appeared on the screen. "Good evening, paranormal mystery lovers. First off, recent footage has surfaced, showing a creature dressed in drag, entering clubs and saloons, impersonating female dancers," the host reported. "Here is the shocking video taken by a saloon-goer."

"I've heard about this thing, Gaz! Look!" Dib yelled. Gaz had absolutely no intention of watching her brothers stupid show. She had much better things to do. "No," she mumbled.

The video showed a woman, nearly stripped naked on a stage, until, what seemed to be a short man dressed in a Halloween monster costume dressed in lingerie, shoved her off stage and started dancing. The music stopped, the entire audience stared at it for several moments, until it frantically ran off stage, yowling madly. A fat old man appeared next. He had 5 o'clock shadow and a few flies were flying around his neck. "Yeah, I took mah little kids here for drinks and a pizza, when this thing interrupts the production… It was hideous! Ruined our night!" He paused and looked away from the camera. "Do I get mah money now?"

It cut off and went to the Mysterious Mysteries host once again. "There you have it, folks. It's real, it's ugly, and it wants to be a sexy saloon dancer. Good night, all."

"Wow! The nerve of that thing!" Dib said, hopping off the couch. "Also, where are there any saloons around here?"

MiMi sped into the next room, but not quick enough, since Dib noticed the movement in his peripherals. "Huh?" He hopped off the couch and ran over to the next room that leads to the hallway with their rooms and dad's laboratory. He saw the movement again near the lab door, and then it quickly went in, shutting the door behind it. He crept slowly in the room, seeing the figures shadow flit down the entry hall that leads into the lab. Dib came upon the room that his dad kept his larger inventions. He saw him standing with a bulky, 8-foot tall robot. It was testing its strength on random object that the professor provided. "Dad! I saw something come in here. It could… Wow! What is that!?" He called out, eyeing the giant machine with much interest.

"Not now, son!" the professor called back. "This is top secret work. How did you get into the lab?"

"The door was unlocked," Dib responded.

"Oh…right" said the professor. Just then, MiMi, still disguised as a cat, appeared before the robot and looked up. "MiMi!" said a familiar voice inside the robot. The front of the robots torso opened and flipped slowly upward. MiMi jumped up and sat on the floor of the robots control station. Dib's mouth dropped when he saw who it was. "Tak…" he said to himself. She gave him a sinister smile. "Dib!" she said, ferociously.

The Professor looked startled. "Son, you know this alien?" he asked.

"Yes! We crossed paths once before. She was the one who -"

"So tell me, Dib. How's Zim's Mission going?" Tak interrupted, pretty much knowing what the answer will be.

He smirked and sniggered to himself. "From what I know, not well…" He answered back. "He's had a long hiatus lately, and he hasn't been to class for weeks… maybe even over a month."

"Perfect! Right when the Professor showed me this thing, I decided that I'll be destroying Zim's secret base with it," announced Tak. "That idiot and his dog need to be shut down for good!"

"Wait! I wanna help." Dib said, desperate. "I've spent years obsessed with stopping him! You need to let me be a part of this. I'm sure dad can whip up some suits for Gaz and I.

"Why, I already have." The professor motioned Dib and Tak to the other side of the room. He turned the lights up, which displayed two similar suits to Tak's. Dib's was black, with white joints and gray trimmings. Gaz's was also black, but with dark purple joints and gray trimmings. Suddenly, the professor's webcam notification sounded. "Gotta go! Don't touch those suits, kids. They're not ready. The time will come to use them!" he said, darting out of the room to his computer. Dib and Tak stared at the suits for a good while, until they glanced at each other with huge smiles on their faces.

"We're gonna stop Zim!" said Tak.

Dib gave her a bigger, diabolical smile "ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

* * *

Zim was sitting at his computer, more stressed than ever before. He had been working that entire day on the extensive, detailed coding for him and Gir's upgrades. Every computer was on and sounding off their individual whirls and beeps. He was staring blankly at the screen, taking a small break, when his detectors went off and alerted him about a suspicious character in the city. "What!? An Irken life form?" Zim questioned. "This type of reading looks familiar…" he looked at it closely. "I haven't seen it since…" His face was struck with horror, knowing exactly who it is. "… Tak!"

_To be continued… _


	3. Chapter 3: Gir's New Programming

**Chapter 3: Gir's New Programming**

A man walking his dog came strolling along the sidewalk. He heard a loud buzzing coming from inside Zim's house. He stopped in front of the house, glaring at the sporadic light flickering through the windows. There were some high-pitched robotic ramblings. The dog whimpered at the sounds gradually getting louder, and finally, nearly earsplitting. The man started walking away in a hurry, as the dog pulled desperately on its leash, terrified and deafened by the noise. "This neighborhood, I swear!" he cried out, plugging up one ear with his free hand.

Inside, down in his labs, Zim was hard at work with protective goggles on, while sparks ignited in all directions as he welded bits and pieces of metal together. He had hacked into Prof. Membrane's laboratory once he realized Tak was located at Dib's house. The designs for his human and Irken suits were genius, and due to his desperate haste, he stole the Professor's designs and developed his own robotic suits; one dark green and red for himself, and the other, white and turquoise for Gir. Several days have passed since he spoke with the Tallest. He was near a computer, calculating Gir's new programming. Gir, totally unaware of what was going on around him, was darting about in the corner, somehow having acquired pastries of several flavors.

An alarm went off. Gir instantly stopped running. "Oooo, wuzzat?" he said, blankly looking up at the ceiling. Zim ceased his welding and turned diabolically towards the machine. "Tis COMPLETE!" he screamed, his piercing voice echoing throughout the chamber and their hallways. His spider legs carried him over to the computer and pressed a few buttons, finalizing the program. "Come here, Gir!" Zim motioned Gir to come over quickly. "Ooooookie dokie!" Gir shouted, and he began walking over in a calm, silent and slow pace. Zim watched him anxiously as the robot came slowly strolling over dumbly in silence longer than Zim had patience for. He grabbed him angrily when he finally came into arms length of him. Zim plugged a ridiculously large cable into the opening on top of his head.

"Now, Gir, you will be reborn!" he said, increasing the suspense. He switched several switches and looked deeply into his eyes. "Everything you've ever stood for up to this point, Gir, will be completely vanquished. Everything that's ever mattered to you, like your friends and your food, will mean nothing. Your whole outlook on this filthy stink of a planet will be reset to something actually useful!"

Gir stared up at him with a pouty face. "But… I don't wanna…" he said sadly and frightened.

"It's not your decision, Gir! I am your master, and you are my robot servant. Your job was supposed to be to do everything as I say without question, and to do it perfectly without fail. You failed more than I could ever of imagined, thoroughly disappointing me." He said sharply, Gir looking up at him, tearing up and not knowing what to say or what to expect.

Zim, in a short change of heart, felt a slight pain in his heart for the little, heart-broken robot. Maybe what he said to him about his faulty programming was a tad harsh, but it was only for his own good. Zim frowned when Gir dropped his head down. He hesitated for a moment before permanently erasing Gir's current intelligence and personality. He decided to reset the computer to save the Gir he's known for so long in its database; the Gir that held the stupid little things in life to such a high degree of importance, was kept safe in case Zim felt the need to ever change him back to the way he was, perhaps if one day he decides that he needs a friend when there's nothing else to invade. He then went over to the large Frankenstein's-lab-type switch. He glanced at Gir once again, watching him, confused and afraid. Zim paused, grasped the switch tightly in his little hand, summoning up the final amount of courage he needs to complete the job. "Goodbye, Gir!" Zim called out. "Things won't seem so bad, soon." He pulled down on the switch with all of his strength. "It's for the sake of the mission."

Gir erupted in blinding illumination and ear splitting screams of terror, as he was lifted several feet into the air, engulfed in a flash of radiation and electricity. Zim saw Gir's eyes turn dark red and his sadness slowly turn into anger. The cable disconnected once the re-programming was complete, and Gir fell to the ground with a hard metallic clatter, his body limp and lifeless. "Gir!?" Zim watched him in concern and worry that he might have failed, overloading Gir's little brain and killing him, until suddenly, Gir jumped to life and landed on his feet before his master. "Yes, Master!" He shouted, standing at full attention, as if frozen in time. Zim waited to see if it wore off after a few seconds like it usually always did, watching him closely with his hand on his chin, but he remained in complete focus and attention. "SUCCESS!" Zim was ecstatic. "Gir! Hop aboard your new battle suit" he said, opening the hatch via remote control.

Gir instantly leaped into suit. Once he was settled into the cockpit and wired in, he started bounding about the room, performing impressive maneuvers. Zim could only imagine how well he would do in combat, on the battleground against weak and pitiful humans, defending themselves as much as they possibly could, shrieking like vermin, carrying their children away in complete terror. There will be no hope for them. Zim stood, arms folded, admiring all the work he accomplished in the last few days, leaving the past behind him. He tried to forget every failed mission and every minute wasted.

Outside Zim's house, Dib and Tak came sneaking through the lawn, after deactivating the lawn gnome guards with a device he constructed to control the house's computer signals. They were wearing all black, and peered through the unkempt window. The security measures on the door and window were also deactivated, and they came through the hearth, into a dark and gloomy living room. The place was too silent. A gentle, unnerving draft crept in. Dib listened closely, and finally heard Zim's voice echoing from deep below them. "There has to be something going on down there, Tak. He's never missed school for this long..."

Dib activated the trashcan elevator and they lowered down to the depths of Zim's house, full of sounds they've never heard before. Dib and Tak couldn't believe what they saw. Zim was settling into a robotic suit based on his respective colors, while Gir jumped out of his white and turquoise version, finished with his test run. They were very similar to his father's designs. In fact, they even seemed identical. Dib and Tak were well out of sight, peering around a corner, until one of them tripped an alarm. Dib forgot to deactivate the alarm systems on this level. "Intruder!" screamed Gir, his eyes flashing red at them. He seemed to teleport in front of them, the gun built into his arm pointed straight at them, a savage look on his face.

"Well well well…" Zim said, hopping out of his suit and strolling up to them. "Dib and Tak! My dear opponents… come to visit me. Here for a sneak peak at what's in store for their planet."

"What are you talking about?" Dib asked.

"You see, Dib. I spoke with my rulers about certain matters pertaining to your little planet, and I am required to make preparations for it's final destruction." Zim explained, looking Dib straight in the eyes. "…the Irken Armada is coming!"

"How would you know for sure?" Tak asked darkly. "They would never come to see you, and like I've said before, this isn't even a real Irken mission of conquest. You're all alone."

Zim gave Tak's new look a sharp, confused glare. "Tak, you're looking rather… metallic nowadays."

"Membrane did it. I crash-landed on Earth, nearly dead." Tak explained. "Now answer the question."

"I spoke to The Tallest myself! They were very interested in my new plans and wished to arrive to help with my final conquer of your precious Earth filth, DIB!" Zim shouted, redirecting his attention to Dib again. "There is no escaping your doom! Your whole species DOOM! And how dare you bash my mission, Irken she-demon!" He gave her a strong, straight point of his finger. "Jealousy has consumed you, Tak. It's molded your very soul. Why merely wallow in your own failure when you can jab at someone else's success? You're pathetic! What have you accomplished!?"

"I'll tell you what's pathetic!" Tak screamed "You scrawny little fu–"

"Tak! Not now." Dib shushed her, eyeing the robot suits across from them, pained at seeing his fathers work in the wrong hands. "Those suits, Zim! Where did you get the designs and programming?"

Zim looked over at his work, slightly embarrassed, but kept his composure and pride. "Normally, Dib human, this behavior would be taboo even for me, but due to my being in such haste, I had no other choice but to hack into your quack father's computer and … _borrow_ his designs… I would've run out of valuable time! I can't risk being ill prepared when the Tallest show up. I could never disappoint them again."

"Stealing someone else's work!? That's low even for you! I thought you had more respect for yourself, Zim!" Dib said furiously.

"You're absolutely right! But what are you gonna do about it?" Zim said with his chest puffed out. Dib and Zim had a death stare war for too long until Zim spoke again. "The Armada can be here any day now, and you are just a distraction" he said with a demented grin. "Gir! Annihilate! Cut the weeds. Gas the vermin! Scrape off that filth!"

Gir's gun cocked, but Tak's cyborg arm forced it upwards, shooting at the wall above them. Gir kicked her square in the jaw and sent her flying down the hallway.

"Destroy those suits, Zim! They don't belong to you. My father is a respected, hard-working man!" Dib commanded, rushing towards him in all his fury.

"I don't take orders from the likes of you!" Zim rose up on his spider legs and tackled Dib to the floor. "You won't get in the way this time! I'll see to it." Zim brutally beat on Dib with his spider legs, throwing him against the floor in a pool of blood. "Ill-prepared much, are we?" Zim said laughing maniacally. "I must say I expected much better of you."

Suddenly Gir came flying out of the hallway in a flash of light and fire. Tak barreled out of the flames, her and Gir clashing in a bout of serious combat. Even with her increased physical ability, the little robot greatly out-matched her. That last shot was the only one she managed to hit him with. He was fast, and nothing like he'd been before. She saw nothing of his former self in those eyes. "Gir! Do you like pizza!?" she managed to say as she was once again blown to the floor.

"Pizza does not compute. Must annihilate the enemy." He said deeply, floating with electrical energy. He shot at her several times, as she managed to dodge them.

"Gir! Do you like TACOS!?"

"Tacos do not compute. Not in databank." Gir grew angry. "Must annihilate the enemy!"

"It's… no use… Tak" Dib said weak and in pain. In Dibs last moment of vision, he saw MiMi flit into the room and incapacitate Gir. Dib fell unconscious.

"How dare you! GIR!" Zim called out. "Gir. Attention!" Gir was lying on the floor near Dib. "You'll pay for that one, Tak! I –" he was silenced, hit in the head by Tak's inferior Sir unit, and fell to the floor. MiMi scooped Dib and Tak up and bounded down the hallway and up through the house, escaping Zim and Gir's clutches.

Zim sat up, some blood on his face, and his spider legs sprawled out behind him, his laboratory nearly in ruins. "That's just fine, then. We'll give them another day to live…just try and stop me, Dib."

_To be Continued…_


End file.
